I Am Not Achilles

Emil Sands has a form of cerebral palsy that affects half of his body, an accident at birth having damaged the cerebral motor cortex. Throughout his childhood, he felt ashamed of his disability and worked hard to conceal it. Surgery in his teenage years, followed by a gruelling regime of daily workouts, allowed Emil to pass for ‘normal’. Though what he consistently heard from others was ‘normal, considering’.

His disability pushed him hard and closed doors redirected his attention to open ones. He couldn’t play football, but took up painting. He excelled academically. His body became toned and muscular. Then an encounter with a Greek sculpture, the Doryforos, compelled him to think anew. The classical statue was lauded as bodily perfection, but something excited Sands more. The stone spear bearer made over 2,000 years ago bore all his weight on his right leg. The muscles around his right knee were tense and tangled in a composition Emil recognized from his own stance, one carefully crafted to handle the discrepancy of his legs. A long-lasting connection with the art of the ancient world was born.

I Am Not Achilles is a revealing examination of what it means to be embodied. Combining intimate memoir with a deep interest in ancient art, Emil uses his own experience to explore our dangerous enchantment with the concept of the body beautiful and consider what it means to have a body that doesn’t ‘fit’.