Oh, My Pie!

One missing van starter motor. One secret military cargo. And one catastrophic, all-consuming obsession with apple pie.

Meet Kevin McCloud: a lazy, corner-cutting truck driver whose daily physical exertion consists of moving his arms up and down to shovel food into his mouth. All Kevin wanted on a seemingly ordinary Thursday was to finish his long delivery run, avoid his overbearing boss Michael, get back home to his wife Helen, and sink his teeth into the legendary, freshly baked apple pie his dear old gran promised him.

Instead, Kevins life takes a violently steep nosedive into an absolute circus of international espionage, misunderstandings, and unrelenting carnage.

Tasked with driving a high-priority cargo from his depot to an isolated Scottish dockyard, Kevins notorious curiosity gets the better of him during a roadside break. Peeking under the tarpaulin on his trailer reveals a piece of top-secret, high-tech military hardware that he definitely shouldnt be looking at. Before he can even process what hes seen, his phone buzzes with news that his gran has suffered a heart attack. Stranded far from home, Kevin delivers the cargo under heavy armed guard at the Stirling dockyards, signs the Official Secrets Act, and decides to head to a nearby food festival. Fueled by a rising panic that he might miss out on his beloved pastry, he plunges headfirst into a multi-day crime spree born entirely of self-preservation, terrible decision-making, and pure, unfiltered desperation.

What follows is an outrageously chaotic cross-country odyssey. Along the way, Kevin manages to:

Flirt with a stern-looking border guard named Gemma, completely unaware she is an unhinged escapee from a psychiatric institute with a terrifying vendetta. Accidentally step into a local pie-baking contest, act as an official judge while consuming an ungodly amount of beer and pastry, and inadvertently crown Gemmas award-winning pie the winner. Trigger a full-scale international incident, get knocked out by a sober giant outside a party tent, and wake up covered in his own vomit with his wallet and phone stolen. Launch into a one-man wave of petty burglaries—stealing phones from unsuspecting festival-goers, snatching a luxury Rolex and cash from a service station restroom, and hijacking a succession of vehicles including an elderly couples Vauxhall Cavalier and a farmers 4x4. Infiltrate a shadowy military bunker, impersonate a guard, trigger a full facility lockdown, rescue his terrified boss Michael from a brutal interrogation, and make a daring escape through a broken wire fence.

As the body count and property damage rise, Kevin races back home believing a slice of his grans famous apple pie will set everything right. But little does he know, his disgruntled wife Helen has already fled the house, and local scrap king Jimmy—alongside a vengeful father—is hot on his trail. Worst of all, Jimmy stopped by Kevins kitchen just long enough to sprinkle a very special, highly toxic "dusting" over the crust of that long-awaited pie.

Filled with relentless dark humor, snappy dialogue, and a protagonist so unapologetically self-absorbed you cant help but root for his impending doom, Oh, My Pie! is a wildly fast-paced satirical comedy about what happens when a man prioritizes dessert over every single law of God and man.

Will Kevin finally get a taste of his legendary pie, or will his catastrophic life choices catch up to him? Find out in the years most delicious dark comedy caper.