ONE BLOODY DAY

It all began with an awakening, not like some spiritual epiphany, although that would have been pretty cool. For me, it was actually a challenge question. A challenge to hold onto everything I thought I knew. I was on a mission to dig in and do just enough research to prove this person wrong, restore my religious views, and lay this challenge to rest. Rest wasnt going to happen, however, since that person just so happened to be my wife. By the way, the bible has a whole section on how husbands should treat their wives and vice versa, and this would be a good time to reflect on that if you happen to find yourself as argumentatively challenged as I do on occasion. I did not win any points arguing with my wife for sure, but what really stole my rest was my digging itself. You see, the more I dug, the more of what she was saying was right. It was worse than right; it was spiritually crippling in a way I can only describe as a betrayal of the closest of friends or a lover. The kind of gut-wrenching betrayal you only get when you didnt see it coming until it was smirking right in your face, as if to say, "How stupid are you?" And boy did I feel stupid, played, and humiliated in faith. I honestly just couldnt accept it, and I did what anyone would do. I kept digging, trying to find something that would just agree with me, and I did actually find stuff, and a lot of it.

But the questions remained: what was right as far as my understanding, what was truth, and which one should I follow? Should it be the one that wins the argument on my behalf with plenty of google proof testifying to what I believe, or do I keep digging and find out what is actually scriptural truth? To keep digging was going to be gut-wrenching. I already knew it was going to swell this feeling of betrayal to levels I wasnt sure I could even mentally handle.

So what was the challenge question, you ask? What it was wasnt really as important as the road it just set me on, but dont worry, we will get to the question.