The Virginia Monologues

When she started to clock up the years in earnest, everyone tried not to mention it. But now Virginia Ironside is actually sixty-five she cant see what all the fuss was about. Its great to be old.

Growing ancient is not a loss but a gain. Youre more confident, and if your memorys going, at least you forget the bad times, like all those ghastly men you slept with in the other sixties. And isnt now the time to take lots of drugs, and not just the ones prescribed by the doctor (which are, now youre old, completely free)?

Theres nothing more fun than comparing your various ailments with other oldies (I take so many fish oils Im thinking of joining an aquarium), curtain-twitching, complaining or (Virginias preference) just mooching about.

From Grandchildren (The reward for not killing your children), and Being a Bore (Youre in your anecdotage, so nobody can complain) to Sex (I dont know about you, but Ive had enough sex to last me a lifetime), Virginia Ironside tackles all the issues that face todays elegant and distinguished oldies with optimism and enthusiasm - and makes you want to cheer!