Nun Believable

When actual aliens arrive, theyre not impressed… and theyre ready to recycle Earth.

The Arixellian Clarification Bureau has one job:

audit planets, measure intelligence, and discontinue the ones that fail.

And after a first glance at humanity, theyve already started the countdown.

Now Sister Mary Mercy and her catastrophically lovable squad must survive the galaxys most stressful evaluation:

The Planetary Sentience Verification.

Unfortunately, their best (read: only) hope is Brother OMalley—a man who panics so hard he breaks the translator device and gets appointed Earths ambassador by mistake.

As the Sisters wreak cosmic havoc aboard a perfectly symmetrical alien ship,

Scraps gains accidental self-awareness, Echo becomes Security Captain, Agnes suplexes a civil servant, and the goat eats the Planetary Discontinuation instructions.

OMalley must convince the universes most literal beings that intelligence isnt efficiency—its connection, chaos, love, and the courage to choose meaning in the mess.

If he fails, Earth gets recycled.

If he succeeds, the aliens will rewrite their definition of sentience forever.

But something even older is listening… and watching.

NUN BELIEVABLE is a cosmic, heartfelt, martial-arts theological farce—first contact by way of Naked Gun, with the fate of humanity in the trembling hands of its most anxious monk.