MARK LEYNER

Is There a Doctor in the House? Say youre at a party. Youve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly youre introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions youd like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but havent had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. Youre filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If youve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . . How do people in wheelchairs have sex? Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast? Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever? Why does asparagus make my pee smell? Why do old people grow hair on their ears? Is the old adage beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . . really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you. Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.

Das perfekte Geschenkbuch für Hypochonder, Kassenpatienten und alle Fans von populären Medizin-Irrtümern.12»Ein Buch, mit dem die Leser eine Menge Spaß haben können.« The Book Standard01Mark Leyner ist Autor zahlreicher humoristischer Bücher und Journalist, seine Artikel erscheinen regelmäßig in "The New Yorker", "Time" und "GQ". Darüber hinaus schreibt er Drehbücher für Filme und Fernsehshows.

Woher weiß das Aspirin, wo der Schmerz sitzt? Kann man mit künstlichen Brüsten stillen? Können Glatzköpfe Läuse bekommen? Kann ein Melonenkern im Magen keimen? Und haben auch Frauen erotische Träume? Die Autoren des Nummer-1-Bestellers "Warum haben Männer Brustwarzen?" haben noch längst nicht alle Fragen rund um den menschlichen Organismus und seine Gesundheit beantwortet. Mit missionarischem Eifer und deftigem Humor schließen sie Wissenslücken, deren Existenz wir zuvor nicht einmal ahnten.Das perfekte Geschenkbuch für Hypochonder, Kassenpatienten und alle Fans von populären Medizin-Irrtümern.01Mark Leyner ist Autor zahlreicher humoristischer Bücher und Journalist, seine Artikel erscheinen regelmäßig in "The New Yorker", "Time" und "GQ". Darüber hinaus schreibt er Drehbücher für Filme und Fernsehshows.

Las preguntas que sólo harías a tu médico después de tres martinis. Si alguna vez a querido preguntar a un médico... ¿Cómo mantienen relaciones sexuales las personas que van en silla de ruedas? ¿por que les salen pelos en las orejas a las personas mayores? ¿Por que me huele el pis cuando como esparragos? O ¿Por que los hombres tienen pezones? Este es el libro que necesita.

A brilliant and utterly original new novel from Mark Leyner about a father and his intense and devout relationship with his daughter and with alcohol. An anthropologist and his daughter travel to Kermunkachunk, the capitol of Chalazia, to conduct research for an ethnography on the Chalazian Mafia Faction (a splinter group of the Chalazian Childrens Theater). The book takes place over the course of a night at the Bar Pulpo, Kermunkachunks #1 spoken-word karaoke bar, where conversations are actually being read from multiple karaoke screens arrayed around the barroom. Moreover, its Thursday, "Father/Daughter Nite," when the bar is frequented by actual fathers and daughters as well as couples cosplaying fathers and daughters. Last Orgy of the Divine Hermit is a book about the deep pleasures of reading and drinking, the tumultuous reign of a cabal of mystic mobsters, and, of course, the transcendent love of a father for his daughter.

An all-access ticket to the celebrated and wholly original mind of Mark Leyner, one of the smartest and funniest humans since Aristophanes (Jay McInerney) Praised as chaotic and vibrant (Charles Yu), visionary (Sam Lipsyte), and supremely original (John Cusack), the work of Mark Leyner has inspired a generation of contemporary novelists and has long deserved its place of recognition among the literary superstars of the seismic postmodernism-influenced movement of the early 21st century. A Shimmering, Serrated Monster!: The Mark Leyner Reader samples the staggering highlights from Leyners extraordinary career in all of its bizarre and infatuating glory, with excerpts spanning from his groundbreaking early novels My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist (1990) and Et Tu, Babe (1992) to his modern masterpieces The Sugar-Frosted Nutsack (2012) and The Last Orgy of the Divine Hermit (2021). Appreciations from modern masters introduce each novel and the book includes original pieces in Leyners irrepressible voice, including a timeline (The Story So Far) and a new Afterword (The Highlighted Passages). This comprehensive volume is the perfect entry point for readers attracted to mind-expanding prose, and a bouquet of delights for those who have loved any of his past works.

You know how it is . . . youre at a party, youve had a drink or two and then someone introduces you to a friend. Hes a doctor. And it seems like the perfect time to ask all those strange questions youve always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask:Can poppy seeds make you test positive for heroin?What are goosebumps?Why does asparagus make your wee smell?Why do old people get hairy ears?Is it possible to lose your contact lenses inside your head for ever?Why do some people have an outie belly button and some people an innie?Does warm milk really help you sleep?Is it actually possible to get scared to death?This book gives the answers to these and many more questions - pretty much everything youve ever wanted to know - but never had enough Dutch courage to ask!

A fiendishly innovative young writer ups the ante on his cult classics Et Tu, Babe and My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist with a book so funny that it ought to be a controlled substance. "With his pumped-up prose and steroidal satire . . . You could call him the Quentin Tarantino of cult fiction."--Newsweek.

From his cult classic, I Smell Esther Williams, to his wildly popular and insightful column "Wild Kingdom" appearing in Esquire magazine every month, Mark Leyner has been giving us up close and personal encounters of the most hilarious kind for over a decade.Now, in his new novel The Tetherballs of Bougainville, Leyner shares with us, long last, the quintessential coming of age story that every writer, at some point, is compelled to tell. In the novel we meet young Mark Leyner, 13-years-old to be exact, as he waits in a New Jersey prison to witness his fathers execution. Adolescence is never easy, and it just so happens that this junior high schooler is on deadline to turn in a screenplay for which he has already been awarded the Vincent and Lenore DiGiacomo/Oshimitsu Polymers America Award. And, as it was for all of us during out teenage years, nothing seems to go as planned.Written as autobiography, screenplay and movie review, The Tetherballs of Bougainville twists three familiar narrative forms into an outlandishly compelling story. Leyners use of the media-driven formats brilliantly reflects our secret, shameful and hilarious desire to experience our private lives as mass entertainment. The Tetherballs of Bougainville skewers and celebrates American pop culture in the late twentieth century. Leyners version of our lives is so deeply funny because it is so painfully true.

CONGRATULATIONS! Your purchase of this book means that the admissions committee has thoroughly reviewed your application and we are pleased to welcome you to the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine.**A not quite fully accredited institutionLets Play Doctor is your instant guide to becoming a Real Fake Doctor. At the Why Do Men Have Nipples School of Medicine, we offer an informative, immersive, and incredibly entertaining course of study that will give you the special skills needed to get your M.D. on! By following the lessons in Lets Play Doctor, youll learn: Special mental exercises to give yourself that buff, bulging Doctor brain How to impress your peers with big, polysyllabic, esoteric medical lingo (can you say pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis?) Easy ways to diagnose your girlfriends goiter or your fathers fistula Do-it-yourself surgeries from hemorrhoidectomy to breast enlargement And, most important, how to craft a completely believable, official-sounding get-out-of-work-for-medical-reasons noteTuition? Just $14.95. Enroll today! Its time to play doctor!

In this fiendishly original new novel, Mark Leyner is a leather-blazer-wearing, Piranha 793-driving, narcotic-guzzling monster who has potential rivals eliminated by his bionically enhanced bodyguards, has his internal organs tattooed, and eavesdrops on the erotic fantasies of Victorias Secret models -- which naturally revolve around him.Leyners jet-propelled roller derby through the cultures of celebrity, cyberpunk, and rabid egotism is exhilaratingly bizarre, exhaustingly funny -- and youd better hope its just fiction.

From the bestselling and wildly imaginative novelist Mark Leyner, a romp through the excesses and exploits of gods and mortals. High above the bustling streets of Dubai, in the worlds tallest and most luxurious skyscraper, reside the gods and goddesses of the modern world. Since they emerged 14 billion years ago from a bus blaring a tune remarkably similar to the Mister Softee jingle, theyve wreaked mischief and havoc on mankind. Unable to control their jealousies, the gods have splintered into several factions, led by the immortal enemies XOXO, Shanice, La Felina, Fast-Cooking Ali, and Mogul Magoo. Ike Karton, an unemployed butcher from New Jersey, is their current obsession. Ritualistically recited by a cast of drug-addled bards, The Sugar Frosted Nutsack is Ikes epic story. A raucous tale of gods and men confronting lust, ambition, death, and the eternal verities, it is a wildly fun, wickedly fast gambol through the unmapped corridors of the imagination.

Is There a Doctor in the House?Say youre at a party. Youve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly youre introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions youd like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but havent had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. Youre filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If youve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .How do people in wheelchairs have sex?Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?Why does asparagus make my pee smell?Why do old people grow hair on their ears?Is the old adage beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . . really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.

A community theaters production of Special Yearnings triggers a string of underground nuclear explosions from St. Louis to Worcester, Massachusetts. A man frantically swats at the blaze that his girlfriend has ignited in his trousers, while her family tries to figure out whether his agonized sign language means "Under the Volcano" or "No Time for Sergeants." Charo, Marianne Faithfull, and Napoleons sister swap glittering witticisms and pornographic come-ons with languid aesthetes and unhinged suburbanites.Such scenarios are just par for the course in this gloriously disorienting volume by Mark Leyner, author of My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist and Et Tu, Babe, and a writer who plays the English language the way Jimi Hendrix played the guitar: at blinding speed, dangerous volume, and with a perfect mixture of lyricism and sheer menace.

Welcome to Mark Leyners America, where you can order gallium arsenide sushi at a roadside diner, get loaded on a cocktail of growth hormones and anabolic steroids, and support your habit by appearing on TV game shows. Welcome to a wildly post-Einsteinian fictional universe where the locals include a speech pathologist with a waterbug fetish, a kamikaze airline pilot, and the lead singer for Brazils most notoriously nihilistic samba band.

Here are hundreds of questions you didnt get answered the first time around - questions youd only ask a doctor after a few drinks! An easy-to-read blend of humour and medicine, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? has plenty to amuse and inform both men and women. Find the answers to these questions and more . . . Are men really better than women at maths? Can you breast-feed with implants? Why dont you get goose bumps on your face? Does spicy food really induce labour? Why do feet smell? Does barbequing cause cancer?

.¿Hay algún médico en la casa? Pongamos que está usted en una fiesta. Se ha tomado tres martinis y se pierde entre la multitud, preguntándose cuánto rato debería permanecer allí antes de salir a comerse una pizza. De repente, le presentan a alguien nuevo, el doctor Todo Oidos. Se olvida de la pizza. Ahora es el momento ideal para sacar a colacion todas esas extrañas preguntas que a usted le gustaria hacer durante una visita oficial a su medico pero no ha tenido las agallas (o, con mas probabilidad, el tiempo) de plantearle. Rebosa usted de coraje etilico...Esta es su oportunidad, si alguna vez ha querido preguntar a un medico... ¿Como mantienen relaciones sexuales las personas que van en silla de ruedas? ¿Por que me entra un dolor de cabeza mortal cuando me tomo el batido de leche demasiado deprisa? ¿Se me pueden perder para siempre las lentillas dentro de la cabeza? ¿Por que me huele el pis cuando como esparragos? ¿Por que les salen pelos en las orejas a las personas mayores? ¿Es cierto que, para no emborracharse, siempre hay que beber antes el licor y luego la cerveza? ¿Afecta a la fertilidad de un hombre la clase de calzoncillos que lleve? En tal caso, ¿Por que los hombres tienen pezones? es el libro que necesita.Recopilado por Billy Goldberg, medico de urgencias, y Mark Leyner, autor de best-sellers y famoso escritor satirico, ¿Por que los hombres tienen pezones? ofrece divertidas respuestas basadas en datos objetivos para algunas de las grandes preguntas sobre las curiosidades del cuerpo humano.

«Este libro no es tanto una novela como una colección de prosa televisiva ingeniosa, erudita y de una calidad magnífica. La velocidad y la nitidez reemplazan al desarrollo. La gente aparece y desaparece, los acontecimientos tienen lugar con estridencia y ya no se vuelven a mencionar. El reto burlón que plantea al lector es el mismo que plantea el flujo televisivo de realidades y opciones: absórbeme, demuestra que eres lo bastante consumidor», David Foster Wallace sobre "Mi primo, mi gastroenterólogo" en "Algo supuestamente divertido que nunca volveré a hacer".