Stanley Bing

¿Alguna vez, sin saber por qué, ha tenido la impresión de que, por mucho que usted se esfuerce, nunca logra alcanzar los objetivos que su superior le ha impuesto?.

¿Es aconsejable estar cuerdo para dirigir empresas y organizaciones exitosas? Aprenda a reconocer a su jefe bajo todas sus formas y todos sus disfraces. ¿Alguna vez, sin saber por qué, ha tenido la impresion de que, por mucho que usted se esfuerce, nunca logra alcanzar los objetivos que su superior le ha impuesto? ¿Sospecha que tras esa apariencia de autoridad se esconde alguien incapaz de organizar sus propias tareas y que descarga su frustracion sobre usted? ¿En algun momento ha llegado a pensar que se encuentra en manos de un sadico o un tarado? No le de mas vueltas: el problema no radica en su manera de trabajar, ni en sus habilidades para relacionarse con sus compañeros y superiores, sino en la propia organizacion de la empresa. Su jefe, no lo olvide, es una victima de ese sistema... como usted, lo cual no significa que tenga que aceptar su situacion y resignarse. Todo lo contrario.

Enron? ¿WorldCom? ... ¿Roma? La historia del auge y la caída de este imperio puede ser un perfecto modelo para gerentes, empleados y estudiantes sobre cómo funciona una gran corporación. Stanley Bing, cuyos satiricos libros sobre el mundo de la empresa son tan divertidos como inteligentes, mezcla la parabola empresarial y la moraleja en este entretenido libro sobre la historia del Imperio Romano vista como la primera gran organizacion corporativa. Vender ciudadania al mundo fue el gran negocio de Roma. Ser romano se convirtio, en palabras del autor, en un concepto de marketing muy atractivo y eficaz que permitio a Roma expandirse mas de lo imaginado y mantener la unidad a lo largo de varios siglos. Partiendo de esta idea, Stanley Bing traza los paralelismos, con ejemplos concretos y reales, entre el funcionamiento del imperio y el de una corporacion: el carisma y liderazgo de Romulo, la expansion y primeras adquisiciones del imperio, los sucesores de Romulo, las guerras continuas, las ambiciones desmedidas de algunos lideres, la decadencia, la reinvencion del imperio con Julio Cesar -modelo, segun el autor, de cautela, ambicion, firmeza, vanidad y astucia cualidades imprescindibles para ser un buen lider-; Augusto y su incapacidad de encontrar a un sucesor... A traves de este repaso historico, el autor acaba concluyendo que el gran exito de Roma fue saberse reinventar a si misma, tal y como deben hacer todas aquellas grandes corporaciones que quieren sobrevivir durante largo tiempo.

Novedad Julio 2001¿Cómo llegaron hasta donde están hoy los individuos ricos ypoderosos que mueven el mundo? ¿Son más inteligentes? ¿Más rápidos? ¿Más apuestos? Claro que no. Algunos hasta son bajos y

An ancient mogul has bought the power to live forever, but the strong young body he plans to inhabit has other ideas. The battle for immortal life begins in Stanley Bings stimulating, satirical and perhaps even visionary novel (Wall Street Journal).Immortal life. A fantasy, an impossible dreamor is it? The moguls of Big Tech are pouring their mountain of wealth into finding a cure for death and they are determined to succeed.None of these titans is richer than Arthur Vogel. The inventor, tech tycoon, and all-round monster has amassed trillions of dollars and rules over a corporate empire stretching all the way to Mars. The newestand most expensivelife extension technology has allowed him to live to 127 years, but time is running out. His last hope to escape the inevitable lies with Gene, a human specifically created for the purpose of housing Arthurs consciousness. The plan is to discard his aged body and come to a second life in a young, strong host. But theres a problem: Gene. He may be artificial, but he is a personand he has other ideas.As Arthur sets off to achieve his goal of world domination, Gene hatches a risky plan of his own. The forces against him are rich, determined, and used to getting what they pay for. The battle between creator and creation is heightened as the two minds wrestle for control of one body.Mixing brisk action, humor, and wicked social commentary, author Stanley Bing has crafted an engaging and cautionary tale about the direction in which spaceship Earth is hurtling (USA Today). Welcome to a brave new world that is too familiar for comfortand watch the struggle for humanity play out to the bitter end.

Siéntese y respire hondo; éste es el último libro de negocios que va a tener que leer, ya que en estas páginas Stanley Bing resuelve el problema definitivo de su vida laboral; cómo tratar al jefe. La tecnica es simple... tan simple como dominar a un elefante. Todo lo que necesita es el estado de animo adecuado, un plan bien elaborado y una buena dosis de fe. La filosofia zen nos permite coger un objeto enorme y pesado, y moldearlo como si de plastilina se tratase. Y la verds es que la direccion de empresas es la mas blanda de todas ellas.

Cuando Guillaume Apollinaire (1880-1918) comienza a publicar sus primeros cuentos en revistas apenas contaba con veinte años de edad, pero hasta diez años después no verán la luz reunidos en un libro

A hilarious and tough-minded guide to winning the war of contemporary life.The Chinese philosopher Sun Tzu taught that readiness is all, that knowledge of oneself and the enemy was the foundation of strength, and that those who fight best are those who are prepared and wise enough not to fight at all. Unfortunately, in the current day, this approach is pretty much horse hockey. Sun Tzu was a Sissy will transcend all those efforts and teach the reader how to make war, win, and enjoy the plunder in the real world, where those who do not kick, gouge, and grab are left behind at the table to pay the tab. Students of Bing will be taught how to plan and execute battles that hurt other people a lot, and advance their flags and those of their friends.Forget the touchy-feely nonsense. This is your field manual for the modern workplace:Aggressive Career Advice: Learn why kicking, gouging, and grabbing arent just acceptable in the real worldtheyre required to get ahead. Office Politics as Warfare: Master the art of planning and executing battles that hurt other people a lot while advancing your own flag. Satirical Leadership Guide: Discover why the most effective generals arent strategizing sissies; theyre the ones who enjoy the fight and know how to claim the plunder. Workplace Humor: A brutally honest and hilarious takedown of modern corporate culture, from delusional bosses to backstabbing peers.

A sly send-up of the successful What Would Jesus Do? books, here is a satisfyingly mean light-hearted approach to business successthe Machiavellian way.Machiavellians may not get to heaven, but on earth they have a definite edge on the competition. In this pithy and discretely vicious guide full of dark workplace humor, Stanley Bing shows how the Florentine master statesman and political thinker would handle todays myriad corporate challenges with a ruthless leadership strategy, seize the future by the throat, and make it cough up money, power, and superior office space. So, what exactly would Machiavelli do? He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others. He would be in love with his destiny. He would, for the most part, be a paranoid freak. He would always be at war. He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies. He would have a couple of good friends, too. He would acquire his neighbor. He would think BIG. He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes. And much, much more. More than a road map to success, this is the only piece of career advice that will help anyone get what they want, whether or not they deserve it.

From the mind of the ultimate corporate gunslinger comes this no-nonsense, real-world curriculum, designed to augmentif not replacethe more traditional path to achieving mastery of the business universe. Conquer this sharp, practical and often amusing course of study and save $250,000 of wasted business school tuition.Unlike those august, Ivy-encrusted factories that churn out masterful business administrators, The Curriculum will teach you the art of business, employing a smart, tactical battle plan that will prove infinitely more awesome as you make your way in the world.We begin, in the Core Curriculum, with the acquisition and maintenance of Power. Included are such essentials as Not Appearing Stupid (an early career requirement), Fabricating A Sustainable Business Personality, and the arts of Management and Selling.The Advanced Curriculum hones the skills that are required to seize Success by the throat and shake it until valuable prizes fall out of its pockets, including fundamentals on Strategic Thinking, Self-Branding, mastering Electronic Communications, and dealing with Crazy People.Tutorials and Electives, which students may pursue as their interest or discretion advises, include lessons on Giving an Effective Presentation, Business Drinking, and the Care and Feeding of Ultra-Senior Officers.Lavishly enhanced with numerous charts, graphs, and other illuminating business illustrations, and backed up by years of study from Mr. Bings proprietary research organization (The National Association of Serious Studies), The Curriculum will occupy a place of pride on any bookshelf dedicated to the study of business, how it works, and how it can be used against those who dont know how it works.This is your tactical battle plan for mastering the corporate world:Real-World Career Advice: Learn to fabricate a business personality, master the art of selling, and conquer the essentials of powerall without spending $250,000 on tuition. Unfiltered Business Humor: Navigate the absurdities of corporate life with a curriculum backed by the (entirely proprietary) research of The National Association for Serious Studies. Mastering Office Politics: From dealing with crazy people to the care and feeding of ultra-senior officers, get the tactical playbook for managing colleagues in every direction. Actionable Leadership Skills: Seize success by the throat with advanced lessons in strategic thinking, crisis management, and effective negotiation.

Stanley Bing follows his enormously successful What Would Machiavelli Do? with another subversively humorous exploration of how work would be differentif the Buddha were your personal consultant.What would the Buddha doif he had to deal with a rampaging elephant of a boss every day? That is the premise of Stanley Bings wickedly funny guide to finding inner peace in the face of relentlessly obnoxious, huge, and sometimes smelly bosses. Taking the concept of managing up to a new cosmic plateau, Bing urges no less than a revolution of the spirit in the American workplace, turning overwrought, oppressed, stressed-out employees into models of Zen-like powers of concentration, able to take their elephant-like bosses and grey, lumbering companies and twirl them around the little finger of their consciousness. In Bings unique tradition of social criticism cum business self-help, Throwing the Elephant presents Four Truths (or possibly Five), a Ninefold Path, and one useful, hilarious guide to workplace sanity, success, and enlightenment that surpasses all understanding, survival.

The definitive collection of thoughts, assaults, and hilarious observations from Americas premier business humorist and bestselling author of Throwing the Elephant and What Would Machiavelli Do?The Big Bing will be a mandatory addition to the library of everyone who works for a living, or would like to. For nearly 20 years, Stanley Bings funny, wise, pleasantly mean-spirited, and at times even useful columns have delighted readers in the pages of Esquire, Fortune and a variety of other national publications.Bing has lived the last two decades inside the belly of the corporate beast, clawing his way to the top of one of the great multinational companies in the cosmos. And he has seen it all: the high body count after many a gruesome deal, the machine that grinds up the bones of those who stood in its way, the birth and death of executive dinosaurs (and hes had quite a few lunches with some of them, too). The result is storytelling at its bestsophisticated, amusing, and driven by the kind of insight that only a true insider can possess.The Big Bing provides a moles-eye-view of the society in which we all live and work, creating one of the most entertaining, thought-provoking, and just plain funny bodies of work in contemporary letters.Two decades inside the beast. One man taking notesManaging Your Boss: Strategies for handling every species of executive dinosaur, from the raving lunatic who becomes incoherent after lunch to the one who just wants to be your pal. Satirical Career Advice: Essential tactics for clawing your way up the ladder, from taking a nap without getting busted to the fine art of strategic bullshit. Friends, Enemies, and Consultants: A moles-eye-view of the political crypt, where turf wars are won, credit is stolen, and consultants are... well, consultants. The Absurdity of Corporate Life: A collection of pleasantly mean-spirited observations on everything from brutal mergers and business travel to the proper use of the office squawk box.

Nobody pricks corporate balloons better than Stanley Bing. New York PostThe ultimate satirist of corporate America, bestselling author Stanley Bing (Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, Crazy Bosses) now offers an outrageous survival guide to the new workplace with How to Relax Without Getting the Axean eminently useful handbook that shows you how to retire on the job while still taking up (window) office space and drawing a huge salary. Succeeding in business without really trying is easy when you listen to Bing.Learn the secrets to a truly executive lifestyle with Bings signature Executricks:Artful Delegation: The core skill of all powerhow to get other people to do the stuff you dont want to do, and make sure they thank you for the opportunity. Managing Meetings: Strategies for avoiding, dominating, or sleeping through the single most disruptive element to any serious executive life. The Expense Account Lifestyle: How to eat big, travel well, and drink on the house by mastering the creative utilization of plastic. Achieving Work-Life Balance: The ultimate goal isnt just to survive the workplace, its to retire on the job while still drawing that huge salary.

Jam-packed with new anecdotes, updated references, and modernized jokes, Stanley Bings seminal investigation of what makes bosses crazy is now revised for a new generation.Fans of televisions The Office and the cult film Office Space will love this classic guide to the universal workplace phenomenon of crazy bosses, now updated for a new centurys worth of insane supervisors. Bestselling author and business guru Stanley Bings Crazy Bosses identifies the various types of crazy bossesthe boss with the five brains, the bully, the paranoid boss, the narcissist, the bureaucrazy, and the disaster hunterand offers readers concrete strategies on how to cope, and, most importantly, how not to become crazy bosses themselves.How do you surviveand even thrivewhen your manager has completely lost their mind?Bad Bosses Identified: Learn to spot the five types of crazy managers in their natural habitat: the Bully, the Paranoid, the Narcissist, the Wimp, and the Disaster Hunter. Workplace Humor: With razor-sharp wit and updated anecdotes for the modern office, Bing turns the horror of corporate life into a hilarious, must-read management satire. Actionable Coping Strategies: Move beyond complaining with concrete, field-tested tactics for managing up, navigating office politics, and protecting your sanity (and your job). A Guide to Sane Leadership: The final, crucial lesson: how to climb the ladder without becoming the kind of boss youve always hated.

Si tienes que nadar entre tiburones, debes saber cómo piensan. Y si quieres ser uno de ellos... también. ¿Cómo llegaron a la cima los individuos ricos y poderosos que mueven el mundo? ¿Son más inteligentes? ¿Mas rapidos? ¿Mas guapos? La respuesta es sencilla: son mas malos. Eso es todo. Y si usted quiere llegar adonde estan ellos, tambien debera ser mas malo. Stanley Bing se vale del humor para explicarnos como piensan los que llegan al poder, y como hacen para mantenerse alli. Pese a que dice inspirarse en el maestro florentino, hay en este libro muy poco de Maquiavelo y mucho de la filosofia de los tiburones de los negocios. Aunque no pretendamos llegar a ser ricos y poderosos, siempre tendremos que nadar entre tiburones... y para defendernos de ellos lo primero es entender como piensan.

Acosa a tus enemigos, enchufa a tus amigos y libra sin piedad tu batalla. Partiendo de las teorías sobre la batalla del famoso filósofo chino Sun Tzu, el autor desarrolla una original teoría sobre cómo debe ser la estrategia de guerra en el autentico campo de batalla de hoy en dia: el lugar de trabajo. El libro, divertidisimo y con un humor negro desbordante, pone al descubierto los trucos mas sucios que se utilizan entre empleados en las empresas de hoy.

A masterful curmudgeon who causes laugh-out-loud moments.USA TodayBing delivers his works smoothly, projecting tones of deadpan sarcasm and animated mockery befitting the often irreverent content. Publishers WeeklyFrom celebrated business writer and Fortune columnist Stanley Bing, the bestselling author of What Would Machiavelli Do?, Throwing The Elephant, Sun Tzu is a Sissy, and more, comes a collection of playful fables poking fun at corporate archetypes while imparting useful and humorous lessons for anyone striving to make it big in big business. Illustrated throughout by New Yorker artist Steve Brodner, Bingsops Fables is the perfect addition to any executive bookshelf in need of a little humorand a lot of excellent advice.This brilliant send-up of executive life delivers brutally honest (and hilarious) advice on:Leadership Lessons: Fables about clueless CEOs, predatory consultants, and the miserable media moguls you know and love (to hate). Workplace Humor: A survival guide packed with deadpan sarcasm and witty takedowns of the meetings, mergers, and madness of corporate culture. Management Advice: Unconventional (and brutally funny) wisdom on everything from surviving reorganizations to dealing with lazy sales weasels and hipster HR guys. Corporate Culture: Wickedly funny illustrations by New Yorker artist Steve Brodner bring the absurdity of executive life into sharp focus.