DIDDLY SQUAT: HOME TO ROOST

It s been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm will the chickens finally come home to roost Welcome back to Clarkson s Farm Where the spring barley crop has failed Just like the oil seed rape And the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid The mushrooms went mouldy While the sheep pigs and cows cost more than they earned At least the farm shop s doing a roaring trade in candles even if they smell like Jeremy s knacker hammock So never mind the rain the skirmishes with the local planning department and the gargantuan hole in Jeremy s wallet Because it s hard to feel too gloomy about life when there s a JCB telehandler a crop spraying hovercraft and a digger waiting in the barn For any man with several metric tons of powerful machinery at his fingertips must be doing something right Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller October 2024